Friday, February 5, 2010


Sadly, I am in a slump right now in my life and the cause of this slump is STRESS.  I just don't know how to handle my life effectively.  Whenever I get stressed this is what happens--I shut down and then go into a slump.  Slumps are not good becasue it causes me to rarely get ready for the day and poor little Bostyn is lucky if she gets our of her pajamas and gets dressed.  I blame it on school.  If I wasn't going to school, I wouldn't be so stressed.  I need help.  I need help dealing with stress because if I take a step back and look at my life from the outside, my life is rather manageable--I just don't know how to manage it.  I get so stressed because I look at all of the things I have to do and things I haven't done all at once.  Ladd tries to tell me to take one task at a time and he is right.  But how do I take one task at a time when I know there are a million things to get done and not enough time to do them, so it seems?  Why can't I be one of those Super Moms who is amazing and has a spotless clean house with dinner ready everynight right on time with cute and dressed kids?  If I could transform myself and create a perfect me, this is how my day would be and what I would be like.

  • Go to bed between 9:30 and 10:30 and actually be able to go to sleep.
  • Wake up with a smile on my face at 6:00 in the morning.
  • Make sure I pray before I leave the bedroom
  • Feed Bostyn OUT of bed.
  • Work out for an hour
  • Shower, AND get ready for the day and get Bostyn ready too.
  • (It's only 8:30am when I'm done getting ready in the perfect me.)
  • Read my scriptures
  • Make breakfast for my husband
  • Have family prayer before we depart our separate ways.
  • Be very productive the whole day, such as getting my homework done, keeping my house clean, the laundry folded and everything else before it's time to make dinner.
  • make a delicious dinner
  • have time to spend with Ladd and Bostyn and not having to do homework throughout the whole evening and also to have time to do the things that I desire to do.  I don't even know what I would want to do becasue I haven't had the chance to think about it.
  • Put Bostyn down at 8:00 every night and then
  • Put Myself to bed between 9:30 and 10:30 every night.
To me this does not seem out of the ordinary and could be an ideal day right?  Well, then why can I not do it?
This is the typical day for me.
  • Bostyn wakes up around 5:30 or 6:00 and she gets fed in bed.  Sometimes she makes it back to her crib and the other times she just falls back asleep with me until seven or eight in the morning. 
  • Finally I get up and feed Bostyn her solids and trying to rush to get ready before I have to go to class.  Because I have chosen to sleep this late, this leaves me no time to workout or read my scriputres or get Bostyn dressed and because I'm so frazzled I forget to say my prayers in the morning most of the time.
  • Once in awhile I will wake up early only to finish unfished homework that is due that day.
  • Then I go to class.  That is if I decide to go to class that day.  It depends on how strong the slump is that day.
  • If I decide not to go to class in the morning, I work out.
  • Then I shower and if I have no where to go for the rest of the day, I don't get ready. 
  • So, because I decide not to get ready, my whole day feels unproductive.  Which it is. Clean and dirty  Laundry is piled taller than me, dishes are always a mess.  And while all this day is going on, Bostyn is not dressed yet.
  • I have to go to a preschool extra hours for shcool becasue I have chosen not to stay caught up on it.
  • Then when I get home, Ladd goes to work at five and I try to clean up the house a bit while he is gone but while trying to clean up, I'm wandering around the house trying to clean four rooms at a time so by the time Ladd gets home, nothing is all the way done, and four rooms are partially clean (these are my great cleaning skills)
  • Then by the time it is way past dinner, Ladd is tired of waiting and just makes it.  (such a good husband, to bad he doesn't have a good wife huh?)
  • Then Bostyn gets to bed wearing the pajamas she woke up in.
  • Then by the time it is past my ideal bedtime, I have to start doing my homework. 
So much time wasted and the only one to blame is myself!  I think all my problems would be fixed if I just had the self discipline to wake up at six in the morning.  Last Sunday Ladd and I committed ourselves to unplugging the TV for a week and it has worked wonders--I don't even know when we would have time to watch it, but for some reason, I'm still stressed and continuing my slump.  Anyways, sorry everybody for wasting your time if you read this but I just had to complain about it.  If any of you have suggestions to be more productive through out the day let me know:)
On the other hand, and asside from all the complaining, I am very thankful for all the blessings I have.  I may be a mess at my life right now but I love who is in it and who I get to spend my messy life with!  They make me happy:)